I'm being such a slacker with the blogging. Truth is, I just haven't felt like it. I am a very positive person, so when I get down I don't like it, and I don't want to spread it to anyone else. But my blog seems like a good place to vent.
J has pulled the 'I have no idea when I'll be ready' line on me yet again. One week it's 'let's just wait til after J&R come visit.' The next it's 'I didn't mean right after, I meant sometime after... it could be months still.'
Okay what?!
My head is totally fucked. I have no idea what he wants. He keeps telling me the opposite thing week to week. If he could just say 'definitely no' it would be so much easier to handle (though it would still suck). But instead I get 'I just don't know, it could be tomorrow!' So tomorrow comes and goes, and still no. And I get the line again.
STOP FUCKING SAYING TOMORROW. Just tell me to stop planning for it, because it isn't coming soon! But when I tell him that, he says 'but it could be tomorrow, for all I know! I'll just know when I know.'
He should have never told me yes last spring to trying this fall. And then planned out our finances to make sure we could afford it. And then encouraged me to talk to my dad about working part time. And then and then and then.
NO MORE AND THEN.
Aw, I'm sorry he's being such a baby about trying, is he afraid you'll get KU the minute he says "okay?" Tell him it doesn't work like that AND your eggs start diminishing every year starting in your late 20s, the clock is ticking, Mr. Jcam!
ReplyDeleteAnd a blog is a great place to dump your negativity, mine is like a giant pity party right now, haha.
Thanks Crys :-) He definitely thinks it will happen immediately. I am pretty much convinced that it won't. So that sucks. Oh well... he'll be ready when he's ready, I guess there isn't anything I can do about it now but vent here. Hehe.
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